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Saturday, February 9, 2013

Affirmation Boards

When I started out in recovery, my sponsor encouraged me to write affirmations to help get me through withdrawal.  I would write the affirmations using a Sharpie on a piece of blank paper and tape them to my bedroom walls so I'd see them as I fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning.  Here are just a few of the affirmations that I posted on my walls during those first months:


  • I will be okay.  God still loves me.  Be curious.
  • Ask for what I want and turn the outcome over to HP.
  • Thank God for one thing that I'm grateful for today.
  • Feel worthy from within.  Other's behaviors and opinions are not my business.
  • The struggle is the blessing.


Over the years, the affirmations I needed to tell myself have changed according to my needs of the day, month, week or year.  But I still find them to be an essential tool for my recovery.

Thankful to my recovery, my life has become more abundant and I have moved into a new, nicer home.  I've been resistant to taping pieces of copy paper onto my walls.

In preparing for my wedding (another gift of working my program), I saw these little chalkboards people were making to use as signage at their weddings.  Although I didn't do this for my wedding, it occurred to me that they would be perfect for my affirmations!  I have multiple chalkboards in different rooms of my home and can change the affirmations whenever I want.  And they just look like home decor.


That quote is not mine.  And I'm afraid I do not know the author.  But I have been sick lately, so that is the message I've been needing to hear.  It's reminded me I can do phone meetings, even if I am too sick to get to a live meeting.

For the art project for my meeting, I decided to turn this into a group project.  I prepared the chalkboards in advance and had the project focused on decoupage for the frames.  But the actual conversion of a standard picture frame into a chalkboard could have been the art project, too.  But I wanted to focus on the affirmation aspect of the project.  I will describe both processes, but you can choose to do one or the other or both.

Tools needed:

  • picture frames: I just picked up a bunch from thrift stores and gathered some from around my home that I wasn't using, to keep the cost low.  As photos become more and more electronic and less and less physical, frames seem to be showing up more and more in thrift stores.  Any frame will suffice, so long as it has glass or a wooden surface to convert into a chalkboard.
  • primer paint (I used a spray primer, but you can use canned primer, as well).
  • chalkboard paint
  • mini paint roller or paint brush
  • paint tray (if you are using the roller)
  • protection for surface you'll be painting on: I used a roll of heavy paper I picked up at a thrift store and a large box that I broke down into a large surface.  A disposable tablecloth would also work.
  • chalk
IF doing decoupage on the frames you will also need:
  • glue to apply the images to your frame
  • Mod Podge to cover the images with when you are done.  This will hold the images in place, prevent them from peeling off and harden them into a sturdier surface.
  • paint brush to apply Mod Podge with
  • OPTIONAL:  Sandpaper and sander, if your frames are painted with a gloss paint
  • images to apply to frame may include:
    • old magazines that can be cut up
    • images printed from a laser printer
    • images printed from an ink jet printer and then covered with hairspray to fix the ink in place
    • stickers
    • fabric or ribbon
    • anything else you want to use to decorate your frame that can be glued to its surface
  • scissors to cut the images out with
  • OPTIONAL: an Exacto knife to cut images out more precisely - only if you are doing this project at home alone (not recommended for group activities)


1.  Find a space to work and lay down your protective surface.

2.  Wash the picture frames, especially if they are used.  I just used Lysol wipes.  You simply want to get off any debris that would get caught in the paint.


2. Separate the glass from the frames.  As you can see in the photo, the bottom frame was glass, but the top frames actually contained some artwork that I was willing to sacrifice to the cause.  Since they were painted on wood, that surface worked well for the chalkboards.



3.  IF you are planning to decoupage the frames, you may want to sand any of the frames that are painted in a gloss paint to help the primer and decoupage adhere to the frame.  If you are satisfied with the appearance of the frame and don't plan to decoupage it, then you can skip this step.


4.  Before painting, be sure your pieces are all laid out on the protective surface with room between them to get to the sides of the frames and to avoid spraying on any nearby surfaces you don't want painted.  If you are using spray primer, as I did, add more room than you think you need.  I ended up spraying our patio carpet.  So again, add even more room than you think you will need.  The spray paint went beyond the paper you see in the photo below, so use MORE space than this.


5.  Read the instructions on the paints you purchased.  My paints may be different from yours, so follow the instructions on your specific paint supplies.


6.  Primer:  If you are not decoupaging your frames, you can simply apply the primer to the glass or area you will be applying the chalkboard paint.  But if you plan to decoupage your frames, you will want to apply primer to the frames as well.


7.  Apply chalkboard paint.  Do NOT apply to frames;  only apply to surface you want to be able to use as a chalkboard.  Again, follow the instructions on your paint can.



8.  Allow to dry (again per your paint can's instructions).  My chalkboard paint had to dry for 4 days before the chalkboard surface could be used.  So be sure to allow time for this before presenting your project to a group or as a gift.

9.  Unfortunately, I didn't take photos of the decoupage process, as this was all done within the anonymous walls of my meeting.  But here are some basic instructions:
  • OPTIONAL:  Separate chalkboard from frame again.  We skipped this step and just did our best to avoid getting glue on the chalkboard surface.
  • Cut out images you like
  • Glue images to the frame
  • Smooth the images out as best you can on the surface of the frame
  • Using a paint brush, apply Mod Podge to entire surface, again, avoid getting it on the chalkboard.  It will look white, but don't worry.  Mod Podge dries clear.
  • Allow to dry.  Mod Podge should dry in approximately 15 minutes.
10.  Prep your chalkboard surface before writing on it.  Read the instructions on your paint as to how to  condition the surface.  For my paint, I was instructed to run the chalk length-wise over the entire chalkboard and erase, leaving a layer of chalk dust on the board.  Then I could write on the board. If I wrote on the chalkboard without conditioning it first, I was informed the words may not erase completely.

Here is my final Affirmation Board:


Saturday, December 29, 2012

New Year's Vision art project

For this week's art project, we focused on creating a vision for what we want to accomplish in 2013.  To get our creative juices flowing and to break through any limitations we impose on ourselves, we used a couple of exercises from the book, Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith.

NOTE:  This is not conference-endorsed literature.

I find New Year's resolutions to be very restrictive.  I often resolve NOT to do something.  Last year, I resolved NOT to eat sugar.  One year, I resolved NOT to spend more than $50 a month on-line shopping.  I have nothing against these sorts of resolutions.  But for 2013, I want to move past what NOT to do and move towards bigger dreams.  In some programs, they refer to these positive actions as "top lines" or "outer circle" behaviors.  So this week's exercise was about thinking big in envisioning a life-changing 2013.

The exercises I used from Wreck This Journal (and yes, I bought multiple copies to protect copyright) included:

  • rub this page with dirt
  • scribble this page wildly, violently, with reckless abandon
  • poke holes in this page using a pencil
  • tear strips out of this page - Rip it up!

I also came up with my own "Wreck This Journal" type of exercise.  I printed out a very simple mandala:


And provided the instructions to:  "Intentionally color outside the lines."

Interestingly enough, that latter exercise, coloring outside the lines, was impossible for at least one member of our group.

But these exercises helped me to break through expectations and other people's rules to help me to envision what I want for myself.  I hope it did the same for the other members of the group.

Finally, I provided a table to write out some visions.


Not only was there space to commit to some actions to take towards our specific visions in 2013, but also space to acknowledge steps we already took in 2012 towards that vision.  That column, acknowledging progress we've already made, was very powerful for me and I filled that column up the most.

If you'd like to break through some of your own limitations, I highly recommend Wreck This Journal, though again, it is NOT specific to 12-step nor endorsed by any 12-step program.

WARNING:  Although there are four different appearing covers with the same title, "Wreck This Journal," they all contain the same material.  So if you purchase this item, select the cover you like best.  But unless you want to repeat all of the same exercises, do NOT order all four, as the content is identical in each.


What are YOUR visions for 2013?

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Step 5 Activity: Votive Candles

Step 5:  Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

December 21st, being the shortest day and longest night of the year, seemed the perfect day to do some candle art with our group.  During our shares, we opened up about our own dark sides and what brings us hope and light when things get the toughest in our recovery.

Multiple sponsors have suggested that I light candles during various points of my step work.  During my 5th step, where I admitted to God "the exact nature of my wrongs," I read my 4th step out loud to a candle. For this reason, candles have held importance to me throughout my recovery.

Supplies needed:

-clear glass votives with candles
-tissue paper
-glue



I was able to purchase the votives at a bulk rate.  I washed the outside of the glass votives before setting up for the group, as I didn't want any potential greasy residue to impeded the glue from adhering to the glass.

We then ripped the tissue paper into small pieces and adhered the pieces with the glue to the glass.  This created something of a stained glass effect.


We also used glitter glue, which you can see at the top edge of the votive on the left.  though once the candle is lit, the glitter only appears in silhouette, so it didn't quite have the effect I was hoping for.  I think the candles are lovely without the glitter glue.  We also had stickers left over from our God Box project, which some people stuck on their votives, as well.  But again, the stickers mostly appear as silhouettes of blocked light when the candle is lit.


Here is how the candles appear when lit.  I definitely feel a much more personal relationship with these votives than with just an ordinary candle.  For me, this personal touch helps to bring me closer to my Higher Power while reading my 5th step.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Step 11 Activity: Coloring Mandalas


Step 11:  Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power the carry that out.

Supplies:

  • Print out of a mandala or use a child's coloring book
  • Crayons or colored pencils or markers


What does it mean to meditate?

The word meditation may have originally come from two Latin words.  Meditar means to think, to dwell upon and to exercise the mind.  Mederi means to heal.  The sanskrit term medha, which may also be associate with the term meditation, means wisdom.

When we hear the term "meditate," most of us imagine a spiritual practice where someone is sitting down, with their eyes closed and attempts to empty their mind.  The goal of meditation is to relax, find an inner sense of peace and connect with a Higher Power.  I like to think of prayer as talking to Higher Power and meditation as listening to Higher Power.

The term meditation covers a broad range of practices, in the same way that the term sports covers a broad range of activities.  Yes, many people do meditate by sitting still in a quiet place and attempting to quiet the chatter in their minds.  However, other people may meditate by gardening, jogging, spending time in nature, listening to music or guided imagery. Any activity which is engaged in mindfully, free from a lot of mental chatter, may serve effectively as meditation practice.  For some people, a repetitive activity like washing dishes may be a meditation.

In Zen Buddhism, meditation done while walking is known as kinhin.  Meditation done while engaging in a simple task mindfully is known as samu.  Samu might include cooking, cleaning, gardening, or chopping wood.

For this 11th step activity, we will be performing a samu meditation in coloring mandalas.  The entire process from choosing colors to the gentle, repetitive motion of your hand on the paper can serve to quiet your mind.




The word “mandala” is from the classical Indian language of Sanskrit, which loosely translated means “circle.” However, a mandala is far more than a simple shape.  It represents wholeness, and can be seen as a model for the organizational structure of life itself.  Circles appear in all aspects of life: the celestial circles we call earth, sun, moon, as well as conceptual circles of friends, family and community.  In various spiritual traditions, mandalas are employed for focusing attention, as a spiritual tool, for establishing sacred space and as an aid to meditation.

Feel free to print out the mandala above.  Or there are an abundance of coloring mandalas that you can download from a variety of websites:




Here is a mandala I colored:



What do you think of coloring for recovery?  What other activities have served as a samu meditation for you?

Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Music of My Recovery


"Music was my refuge.  I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness." ~ Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name


I find music to be an excellent tool for recovery.  Music has the potential to bring forth just about any emotion.  Some songs trigger me and make me want to turn to my addiction.  But when chosen consciously, I have the ability to turn to music that instead inspires me to continue on in my recovery work.  I have multiple playlists on my iPhone that I use at different times.  As I've mentioned before, my recovery has been largely about learning to tolerate uncomfortable feelings.  I think of recovery as strengthening weak muscles of emotions.  If I can tolerate feeling sad for the duration of a song, that delays me - at least for the duration of that song - from turning to a substance or addictive behavior to numb out from that feeling.  I have created playlists for each of the following:

  • Feelin' Blue (sad songs)
  • Forgiveness (songs that inspire me to let go and forgive)
  • Laughter is the best medicine
  • Listen up! (songs I listen to when I think I need a firm talking to)
  • Meditation (guided, musical meditations)
  • Meetings (this playlist is not music, but simply MP3 recordings of meetings I can listen to anytime, anywhere)
  • Pissed (my mix I listen to when I am feeling angry)
  • Whole Not Hole (that's the name of my primary recovery mix)

Here is a sampling of songs from my Whole Not Hole playlist, which is the one I turn to the most often when I'm noticing I'm slipping away from my recovery.


  • Angry Anymore by Ani DiFranco (good song for letting go of anger towards my parents) youtube Amazon
  • Be Kind & Remind by Rogue Wave (reminds me to be kind and compassionate towards others and towards myself) youtube
  • Beautiful by Christina Aguillera (reminds me that other people's opinions of me are none of my business) youtube Amazon
  • Better Now by Collective Soul (Take the time to reflect back and see the progress I've made) youtube Amazon
  • Better Things by The Kinks ("Hoping something better comes tomorrow... I know that better things are on the way...") youtube with lyrics  Amazon
  • Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson (We are all fragile. Men have feelings, too.) youtube Amazon
  • Bright Glittering Gifts by Laura Veirs (There are unbelievable gifts found when facing my darkness) youtube 
  • Change by Blind Melon (When life is hard, you have to change" or join a 12-step program!) youtube Amazon
  • Closer To Fine by Indigo Girls (helps me move away from black-white thinking) youtube Amazon
  • Conversations with my 13-year Old Self by Pink (Great inner child song) youtube Amazon
  • Count Your Blessings by Rosemary Clooney (reminds me to practice gratitude) youtube Amazon
  • Crazy by Gnarls Barkley (reminds me I'm normal, even if I am a little bit crazy at times) youtube Amazon
  • Divine Intervention by Taking Back Sunday ("An act of God and nothing less will be accepted.") youtube Amazon
  • Drive by Incubus (Reminds me not to let "my fear take the wheel and drive.") youtube Amazon
  • Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by the Stars ("Live through this and you won't look back" lyrics remind me that this, too, will pass) youtube Amazon
  • Feel So Different by Sinead O'Connor (how can I not love a song that starts with the Serenity Prayer?) youtube Amazon
  • Feeling Good by Nina Simone (reminds me to appreciate solitute instead of feeling isolated and lonely) youtube Amazon
  • Float On by Modest Mouse (things will work out however they will) youtube Amazon
  • For No One by Zap Mama (no one is worth losing my sobriety over) youtube Amazon
  • Forever and Ever Amen by 8mm (We all have our ghosts and we all have that emptiness inside that only our HP can fill.) youtube with lyrics Amazon
  • Freak Me Out by Weezer (the line, "I know you don't mean no harm; you're just doing your thing" helps me ALL of the time.  I sing this to myself even in small moments of frustration like when I miss a bus) youtube Amazon
  • Get It Together by India Arie (to heal my body I need to reveal the pain from my youth) youtube Amazon
  • Get Off the Internet by Le Tigre (I use the internet to check out a lot, so I like this reminder to unplug now and then and live my life) youtube Amazon
  • Get Right with God by Lucinda Williams (a happy upbeat song about turning my life around) youtube Amazon
  • If I Need to Move On by Ladybug Mecca ("There are times in your lif when you have to learn to let go. Embrace the experience so you can continue to grow.  If your boat rocks, before it docks, you better still stay in the flow.") youtube Amazon
  • In the Sun by Joseph Arthur (The AA Big Book suggests praying for people whom we are mad at.  This song helps me do that.) youtube Amazon
  • La La Lie by Jack's Mannequin (I've got [program] friends who will help me pull through.") youtube Amazon
  • Laugh About It by Racoon (reminds me to find the humor in unpleasant situations) youtube
  • Nervous Breakthrough by Luscious Jackson (reminds me that there are gifts that come from falling apart) youtube Amazon
  • Out of Time by Blur (reminds me to slow down and "feel he sunshine on my face") youtube Amazon
  • Part of the Process by Morcheeba (reminds me progress, not perfection) youtube Amazon
  • Promise by Mirah ("Promise to be kind" reminds me to be compassionate.) youtube
  • Searching by Blackalicious ("The struggle is the blessing.") youtube
  • Sit Down by James (reminds me to go to a meeting and sit down next to people like me) youtube Amazon
  • Strength, Courage and Wisdom by India Arie (encourages me to look inside for the courage to live the HOW of the program - Honest, Open & Willing) youtube Amazon
  • Things Are What You Make of Them by Bishop Allen ("I was spending my days with my demons. They had taken up inside my heart. They were trying to keep me entertained; they were tearing me apart."  Reminds me to hug my demon or it'll bite me in the butt as Pia Melody says.) youtube Amazon
  • Today Has Been Okay by Emiliana Torrini YouTube Amazon
  • Today Will Be Better, I Swear!  by Stars youtube Amazon
  • What We Hate, We Make by The Rocket Summer ("I know that's not enough - to say 'I'm sorry.""  This song helps me to find some forgiveness for myself.) youtube Amazon
  • Whether You Fall by Tracy Bonham (Reminds me to do the next right thing and accept when I work my program imperfectly). you tube Amazon
  • Wise Up by Aimee Mann (Keep coming back!) youtube Amazon


What songs inspire you to work your program and stay on your journey of recovery?

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Thanks Giving Recovery Art Project

A common component of recovering from addiction is learning to practice gratitude.  And what better month to honor that practice than the month of Thanksgiving.

For this week's recovery project, I asked the group to decorate canvas potholders in expressions of gratitude.

Supplies needed:



I introduced the activity:  "This is an activity to recognize and acknowledge Thanksgiving.  Holiday's can be a very challenging and triggering time for addicts.  So it's important that we recognize them in our own ways.  I encourage you to focus on the gratitude aspect of this holiday.  And as the holiday tends to be focused on food, we are acknowledging that in using potholders as the medium on which to express our gratitude."

I was a bit nervous that the men in the group would think the project too girlie.  But I was pleasantly surprised that they all participated.  We invite people to participate in the art projects, but no one is required to.  Some people prefer to use the time to do writing or simply meditate, and I support people in using the time in whatever way best meets their needs.  We give everyone 15 minutes to work on the project, 5 minutes to wrap up or clean up and then return to a regular meeting format of sharing.

Here are a couple of examples of the work that came out of this week's group:

Again, as I've mentioned before, we encourage people not to focus too much on creating "art," but just expressing themselves creatively, as a child might.

What are you grateful for this Thanksgiving?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Step 3 Activity: Create a God Box


Step 3:  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

God boxes have been around and in use way before Mary Lou Quinlan popularized them with her book, The God Box, released in 2012.  I have assigned this task to each of my sponsees working on their third step since I first began attending 12 step meetings in 2005.  And I learned about them from my sponsor who learned about them from her sponsor and so on.  Their tenacity within 12 step programs likely comes from how effective they are in aiding us in turning our lives over to a Higher Power (HP).  I find the use of my God Box to be the most tangible way of turning my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power.  The physical act of handing a piece of paper over to God has deepened my understanding of what it means to turn something over, to surrender.

You can use any box or basket or bowl as a God Box.  All you need is something that can contain little slips of paper.  However, I think the act of decorating a God Box makes it more meaningful for me.  These boxes (or baskets or bowls) are basically the equivalent of a mailbox for God.  I collect boxes all year long.  Generally, I save any box smaller than a shoe box (though people have used shoeboxes and even larger boxes).  I have used business card boxes, candy boxes, jewelry boxes, medication boxes, cell phone boxes, cigar boxes, boxes that small electronics come in (headphones), boxes that fancy skin products have come in, stationary boxes, cigar boxes, gift boxes, small shipping boxes and even baby wipe boxes.

Supplies:
-boxes (again, any kind or size will do)
-collage materials (magazines, origami paper, wrapping paper, old calendars, stickers, scrapbooking supplies, old greeting cards, books, colored paper, etc)
-glue sticks



OPTIONAL (require use of a liquid glue such as Elmer's):
-small beads,
-rhinestones,
-feathers
-glitter or glitter glue

The instructions are easy - have fun decorating your boxes!  Here are how a few of mine have turned out:


So, now what do I do with this God box?  Basically, the idea is to write down anything you are worried about and put it into the box, asking God to take care of it for you.  Of course, like with any prayer, placing the item in the box, you are releasing HOW your Higher Power will go about taking care of the problem for you.  You must let go of the outcome.  Here are some examples of things I put into my God Box:


Some people write out the things they are turning over as a full prayer.  They may write out, "Dear God, please help me with...  Thank you.  Love, ME."  But I find I have lots of things I want to put in there, so I just get right down to the issue.  Again, reading from my items in the photo above, you can see I don't ask for a specific outcome.  I wrote "whether or not my family likes their Christmas presents," not "Please make my family like their Christmas presents."  The act is turning the outcome over.  The request is really, "Dear HP, please help me stop worrying whether or not my family will like their presents."

Although some people suggest never revisiting the items placed in your God box, I have a ritual that I have found very meaningful.  Every New Year's, I empty the contents of my God box.  I unfold each piece of paper, read it and toss it in a fire.  What I love most about this ritual is seeing the things I spent so much time worrying over and realizing how they all worked themselves out.  It's a good reminder that I don't need to worry so much, especially when I turn things over to my HP.

Links to others' stories about their God boxes:

Inside the God Box on Real Simple
The God Box app by Mary Lou Quinlan
eHow to make a God Box
pre-made God boxes

What do you want to put into your God box today?