Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Step 6: Letting Go Rituals


Step 6:  Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

As I've said in prior posts, I prefer to think of my character "defects" more like "character defenses."  I picked up these traits in order to survive stressful and/or traumatic experiences.  I have simply outgrown their purpose and found newer and better tools to use.

The 6th step is about our readiness to have these character defenses lifted.  We are not yet actually asking for them to be removed, simply examining our willingness.

Generally speaking, I recommend my sponsees review their fourth steps to reveal their character defects.  But for the purposes of this group project, I brought a list of possible character defects with me and simply asked the group to select 5 of the defects to examine through this exercise.

Here is the list from which they chose their defects:


This list has been floating around 12-step rooms for over 50 years.  The original author is unknown. But the on-line version where I downloaded this from can be found here.

I like that this list provides not only the character flaws, but also corresponding character assets.  I believe it is important to always keep a balanced perspective, instead of focusing 100% on the negative.

The first two rituals I will be describing were inspired by exercises in Stephanie S. Covington PhD's book A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps.  Her Step Six exercises had a profound impact on me and on my recovery.  In fact, her providing these rituals helped to expand my definition of what it means to "work the steps."  It was this thinking-outside-the-box that eventually led to my exploration of art therapy as a means of working all 12 steps.  I've made some minor changes to her 6th step rituals, as follows.

Ritual #1:  Letting the Leaves Fall Where They May

Supplies needed:

  • leaves from a beloved plant
  • pen
  • elevated place from which to drop the leaves (i.e. second story window, balcony, deck, roof)


This is my beloved plant. We have had a very special relationship over the years.  This plant has been with me through a divorce, through the death of one of my dearest cats, through remarriage and the adoption of my current cats.  I've used this plant for multiple sixth step rituals, as I will describe below.


I always choose leaves that have already turned yellow, out of compassion for my dear plant.  But any leaves will serve the purpose.  As all leaves are quickly biodegradable.

For the ritual, we simply wrote a single character defect on each leaf.


Then, standing in an elevated place, we released one leaf at a time, to fall where it may.  It is always interesting to me to notice which defects are harder to let go of than the others.

Ritual #2:  Stones in the Water

Supplies needed:

  • stones
  • sharpie marker - either black if the stones are light colored or silver if the stones are dark colored.  Oil-based paint pens take longer to dry, but can appear more dramatic against the stone.
  • a body of water into which the stones can be thrown (i.e. lake, river, ocean, pond, creek)



For this ritual, we wrote a single character defect on each stone.


Then, standing along a body of water (safely away from other people or animals), we threw the stones into the water - one at a time.  Again, I always find it interesting to notice which stones I'm not ready to throw in and hang onto until the end of the ritual.

Ritual #3:  The Writing in the Sand

Supplies needed:

  • stick or other object to write in the sand with
  • body of water where waves lap safely onto the shore (not recommended in areas prone to rogue waves)


This is a ritual that I have only performed on my own, not in the group setting.  However, it could also be done with a group.

Find an area of the sand that is wet, where the waves still seem active.  Using your stick, write your character defect in the sand near the water's edge.  And wait.


This ritual is more close to reality in that you must wait for the defect to be lifted (or in this case, washed away).  It happens in Higher Power's time (and the ocean's time), not in our time.  There were times I barely finished writing the word before it got washed away (sometimes way before I was ready to let it go).  Other times, I had to wait several minutes before the defect got washed away.

If you're self-conscious, you can look up the tide schedule.  For highly populated beaches, you may want to choose to do this activity when the tide is coming in.  This provides a greater confidence that you won't have to wait hours for the waves to wash your defect away.

What character defects are you ready to have lifted?

10 comments:

  1. oral herbal merdicine cure for Oral Herpes In Genital Area,cure Information Herpes STD Information and Resources on oral herpes in genital area.herbal medicine cure Herpes STD Information :: Your Resource for cure Oral Herpes In Genital Area, Oral Herpes In Genital Area Information Resource and herbal cure! Herpes STD Information provides you with all your oral herpes in genital area resources and cure information allowing you to learn about and cure STD\'s. Most of the STD\'s mentioned here are not completely curable except with the use of herbal merdicine cure by Dr Akhigbe is the best doctor in curing herpes and other diseases like hiv/aids,herpes,diabetes, cancer,hepatities a and b etc with his herbal medicine i was diagnosed of herpes 2year ago i was cured by this great doctor Akhigbe, the godfather of herbalism. i found him in the internet when looking solution and been frustrated and tired of life because of these deadly herpes doctor akhigbe restored me back to life.please for more information and assistancce contact him through these email drrealakhigbe@gmail.com or whatapp him +2348142454860

    ReplyDelete
  2. I’m Mark Russ , I contracted HIV in 2009, I was told by my doctor that
    there’s no possible cure for HIV. I started taking my ARV’s, My CD4 was 77
    and viral load was 112,450. I saw a website of Dr. Imoloa also I saw a lot
    of testimonials about him on how he uses herbal medicine to cure HIV. I
    contacted him and told him my problems, He sent me the herbal medicine and
    I took it for 7 days after then I went for check-up and I was cured. The
    medicine has NO SIDE EFFECT, there’s no special diet when taking the
    medicine. He also cure DIABETES, EX BACK, ALS, HEPATITIS B, CANCER, HERPES
    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) If you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your
    office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after
    you.
    (5) If you want your own children
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to
    be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) How you been scammed and you
    (10) and if you ant your herpes cure back
    want to recover you lost money
    (11) CANCER,
    (12) DIABETES,
    (13) HIV&AIdS,
    (14) URINARY TRACT INFECTION,
    (15) CANCER,
    (16) IMPOTENCE,
    (17) BARENESS/INFERTILIY
    (18) DIARRHEA
    (19) ASTHMA..
    Also contact him with the above.
    and lots more. You can reach him on drimoloaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com or
    Whatsapp +2347081986098 all thanks to dr imoloa he is really a great man .

    ReplyDelete
  3. i am from USA, i am here to give my testimony how i was cured from HIV, i
    contacted my HIV via blade. a friend of my use blade to peel of her
    finger nails and drop it where she use it, so after she has left i did know
    what came unto me i looked at my nails, my nails were very long and i took
    the blade which she just used on her own nails to cut of my finger nails,
    as i was maintaining my names, i mistakenly injured myself. i did even
    bothered about it, so when i got to the hospital the next week when i was
    ill the doctor told me that i am HIV positive, i wondered where did i got
    it from so i remembered how i use my friend blade to cut off my hand so i
    feel so sad in my heart to the extent that i don’t even know what to do, so
    one day i was passing through the internet i met a testimony of a lady that all
    talk about how she was cured by a doctor called DR Imoloa so i quickly
    emailed the doctor email, and he also replied to me an told me the
    requirements which i will provide and I do according to his command,
    he prepare a herbal medicine for me which i took. he
    called me the next week that i should go for a test which i did to my own
    surprise i found that i was HIV negative. Thanks to him once more the great
    doctor that cured me DR Imoloa so you can also emailed him at
    {drimoloaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com} or whatssapp him on +2347081986098} God Bless you Sir.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm Karem really happy that i have been cured of (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS 2) with the herbal medicine of DR. AKHIGBE HERBAL CENTER, i have been suffering from this disease for the past four years without solution until i came across this email (drrealakhigbe@gmail.com) on the internet of a herbal doctor who have cure so many people of herpes virus with his herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he sent me his herbal medicine through Dhl courier services delivery and direct me on how to use it, i also follows his instruction for use and he ask me to go for a check up after three weeks and which i did, to my greatest surprise my result came out as negative, i am really happy that there is someone like this DR. AKHIGBE HERBAL CENTER who is ready to help people anytime any day. to all the readers and viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this DR. AKHIGBE HERBAL CENTER and see if he will not actually help you. i am not a stupid person that i will come out to the public and start saying what someone have not done for me. he is really a great man contact him now. with this email: (drrealakhigbe@gmail.com) or you can contact him +2348142454860

    ReplyDelete
  5. My husband was diagnosed with MND ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) when he was 69 years old 6 years ago. The Rilutek (riluzole) did very little to help him. The medical team did even less. His decline was rapid and devastating. The psychological support from the medical center was non-existent and if it were not for totalcureherbsfoundation .c om and the sensitive cure of their herbal formula he would have been not been alive today,there was significant improvement in the first 4 weeks of usage that gave us hope that he will be alive,His doctor put him on riluzole, letting us know there was no cure until we gave try on total cure herbal supplement that cure him totally from this disease after 15 weeks of his usage. There is nothing positive about cure ALS condition except for their herbal treatment .

    ReplyDelete
  6. i have been diagnosed of herpes disease since 3 years ago and ever since then i have gone through all manners of challenges and so many more,i was very lucky one very day when i was searching the internet on how to get a cure,as i came across a testimony on how Dr PETER has cured so many people of their herpes disease, i had to contact his email address: peterherpescurehome@gmail.com, as i contacted him i told him of how i have been suffering from herpes disease for 3 years, he assured me of a solution that i will be cure of herpes disease,i obeyed his instruction followed all his words and he then prepared a herbal medicine and he told me that once i start using his herbal medicine i will be cure in 2 weeks and all the virus will be flush out, after he has prepared the herbal medicine, he sent the medicine to me which after 2 weeks i was indeed cured totally thank you once again Dr. PETER in case you also need his help contact him now: peterherpescurehome@gmail.com or WhatsApp +971588071205

    ReplyDelete
  7. I want to share a testimony of how Dr UDI herbal mixture cream saved me from shame and disgrace, my penis was a big problem to me as the size was really so embarrassing ,and i was also having weak erection problem i had so many relationship called off because of my situation, i have used so many product which i found online but none could offer me the help i searched for Which was very painful and then i saw some few testimonies about this herbal specialist called Dr UDI and decided to email him on so I gave his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me and we discussed, he gave me some comforting words and encouraged me also ans then gave me his herbal pills and cream for Penis Enlargement Within 1 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, " and now it just 2 weeks of using his products my penis is about 10 inches longer and am so happy contact Dr UDI via (drudiherbalhome@gmail.com) Via whatapp on this number +2348051243538 or you visit his website
    https://drudiblogaddress.blogspot.com/
    https://drudiherba.home.blog:

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can't express my gratitude to Dr kuta for making me a living testimony. i have battled with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS 2 for about 7years now, and i have done all i can to make sure i am cured but nothing worked out, but miraculously my friend invited me to see a video on his Blog and as i visited i decided to see few of the comment below, and i found some people talking about Dr kuta, and i decided to contact this great herbal healer to also help me,so i wrote to him, and he replied me back and assure me that i will get a cure for my HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS 2. and after preparing my medicine he sent it to me and when i started using it for 2weeks i was completely cured, I am assuring you that you will be cured if you also contact this great man on his Email:drkutaherbalcenter@gmail.com or Call/What app:+2349067603777

    ReplyDelete
  9. I used to suffer from HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS for about 3 years. No medications or treatments ever really did anything for me (i tried them all no one work. but I was actually able to completely cure HERPES naturally after countless hours of online research. What worked for me is as follows: I saw Dr AFRID Information online that he normally cure and treat disease and infirmities with his Herbal Medicine, I never really believed the people who where recommending him thou i saw on blog about 6 people where also testifying on how they were cured by Dr AFRID, and still Joy recommend Dr AFRID who uses herbal medication to cure HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS and gave me his email, so i mail him He told me all the things I need to do and also give me instructions to take, which I followed properly.Before I knew what is happening after two weeks the HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS that was in my body got vanished. so if you are also heart broken and also need a help, you can also email him:drafridherbalhome@gmail.com . if you are infected with any disease like HIV,AIDS, CANCER,HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS, or any other disease you can also be happy like me by contacting…..
    Name: DR.AFRID
    What apps Number: +2349057260738.
    Email:drafridbalhealhome@gmail.com
    website: http://drafridherbalhome.webs.com
    I“m given you 100% grantee, soon as you have getting in touch
    with DR.AFRID your problems will be solved accurately.
    Thanks..

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is to inform the public that Ms. mercy, personal loan lenders financial opportunity for those who need financial assistance. We provide loan interest rate by 2% for individuals, businesses and corporations in accordance with the terms that are clear and easy to understand. contact us today via email: This is to inform the public that Ms. mercy, personal loan lenders financial opportunity for those who need financial assistance. We provide loan interest rate by 2% for individuals, businesses and corporations in accordance with the terms that are clear and easy to understand. contact us today via email: johnleemill12345@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete