Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Step 6: Letting Go Rituals


Step 6:  Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

As I've said in prior posts, I prefer to think of my character "defects" more like "character defenses."  I picked up these traits in order to survive stressful and/or traumatic experiences.  I have simply outgrown their purpose and found newer and better tools to use.

The 6th step is about our readiness to have these character defenses lifted.  We are not yet actually asking for them to be removed, simply examining our willingness.

Generally speaking, I recommend my sponsees review their fourth steps to reveal their character defects.  But for the purposes of this group project, I brought a list of possible character defects with me and simply asked the group to select 5 of the defects to examine through this exercise.

Here is the list from which they chose their defects:


This list has been floating around 12-step rooms for over 50 years.  The original author is unknown. But the on-line version where I downloaded this from can be found here.

I like that this list provides not only the character flaws, but also corresponding character assets.  I believe it is important to always keep a balanced perspective, instead of focusing 100% on the negative.

The first two rituals I will be describing were inspired by exercises in Stephanie S. Covington PhD's book A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps.  Her Step Six exercises had a profound impact on me and on my recovery.  In fact, her providing these rituals helped to expand my definition of what it means to "work the steps."  It was this thinking-outside-the-box that eventually led to my exploration of art therapy as a means of working all 12 steps.  I've made some minor changes to her 6th step rituals, as follows.

Ritual #1:  Letting the Leaves Fall Where They May

Supplies needed:

  • leaves from a beloved plant
  • pen
  • elevated place from which to drop the leaves (i.e. second story window, balcony, deck, roof)


This is my beloved plant. We have had a very special relationship over the years.  This plant has been with me through a divorce, through the death of one of my dearest cats, through remarriage and the adoption of my current cats.  I've used this plant for multiple sixth step rituals, as I will describe below.


I always choose leaves that have already turned yellow, out of compassion for my dear plant.  But any leaves will serve the purpose.  As all leaves are quickly biodegradable.

For the ritual, we simply wrote a single character defect on each leaf.


Then, standing in an elevated place, we released one leaf at a time, to fall where it may.  It is always interesting to me to notice which defects are harder to let go of than the others.

Ritual #2:  Stones in the Water

Supplies needed:

  • stones
  • sharpie marker - either black if the stones are light colored or silver if the stones are dark colored.  Oil-based paint pens take longer to dry, but can appear more dramatic against the stone.
  • a body of water into which the stones can be thrown (i.e. lake, river, ocean, pond, creek)



For this ritual, we wrote a single character defect on each stone.


Then, standing along a body of water (safely away from other people or animals), we threw the stones into the water - one at a time.  Again, I always find it interesting to notice which stones I'm not ready to throw in and hang onto until the end of the ritual.

Ritual #3:  The Writing in the Sand

Supplies needed:

  • stick or other object to write in the sand with
  • body of water where waves lap safely onto the shore (not recommended in areas prone to rogue waves)


This is a ritual that I have only performed on my own, not in the group setting.  However, it could also be done with a group.

Find an area of the sand that is wet, where the waves still seem active.  Using your stick, write your character defect in the sand near the water's edge.  And wait.


This ritual is more close to reality in that you must wait for the defect to be lifted (or in this case, washed away).  It happens in Higher Power's time (and the ocean's time), not in our time.  There were times I barely finished writing the word before it got washed away (sometimes way before I was ready to let it go).  Other times, I had to wait several minutes before the defect got washed away.

If you're self-conscious, you can look up the tide schedule.  For highly populated beaches, you may want to choose to do this activity when the tide is coming in.  This provides a greater confidence that you won't have to wait hours for the waves to wash your defect away.

What character defects are you ready to have lifted?

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  19. Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection… Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless! My husband said he no longer loved me at the end of January this year and i was hurt and heart broken i felt like my life was about to end and I almost committed suicide, I was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr OSCAR DILAN, which I meet online, on one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet and I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also come across one particular testimony and it was about a woman called Tracey Hilton, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr OSCAR DILAN mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try and I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48 hours, my husband came back to me and we solved our issues, we are even happier than before. Dr OSCAR DILAN is really a gifted man and I will not stop testifying about him because he is a wonderful man and so powerful... If you have any problem and you are looking for solution to solve all your problems. Great Dr OSCAR DILAN can also offer any types of help like Reuniting of marriage and relationship, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection,winning of lottery and lot's more. you can contact him on Email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com .... YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS....... YOU CAN ALSO ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136, if you have any problem contact him, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.

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  20. HOW I GOT MY LOAN FROM THIS GREAT COMPANY CALLED ELLIOT OLIVE LOAN COMPANY

    Hello to All across the globe, I am Martha Loiussa, currently living in NEW YORK now, USA. I am a widow at the moment with 2 kids and I was stuck in a financial situation in April 2019 and I needed to refinance and pay my bills. I tried seeking loans from various loan firms both private and corporate but never with success, and most banks declined my credit ,do not fall prey to those hoodlums out there that call them self money lender they are all scam , all they want is your money and you well not hear from them again they have done it to me twice before I meet Mr ELLIOT OLIVE the most interesting part of it is that my loan was transfer to me within 74hours so I will advice you to contact Mr ELLIOT OLIVE if you are interested in getting loan and you are sure you can pay him back on time you can contact him via email……… ( elliotoliveloanfirm@yahoo.com OR elliotoliveloanfirm@gmail.com OR elliotoliveloanfirm@hotmail.com ) No credit check, no co signer with just 2% interest rate and better repayment plans and schedule if you must contact any firm with reference to securing a loan without collateral then contact Mr ELLIOT OLIVE today for your loan

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  21. Read Up My Story Today as my story is a very special and unique one as is not like the numerous advert you always see online and also I want to be 100% sincere and truthful to you that there can never be any other online spell caster that can help you bring back your EX BACK to you other than DR OSCAR DILAN as he alone is 100% effective,dynamic and very reliable as 99.9% of other spell casters are not for real and can never help you solve your problems at all instead they will complicate your present condition OK SO BE WISE AND ALSO BE WARNED AND CONTACT DR OSCAR DILAN TODAY... MY OWN LIFE STORY / EXPERIENCES IS BELOW:


    My Name is Mark Kelvin, From USA. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSCAR DILAN has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex WIFE to me with his great spell, I was married to this woman called Sharon we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to make her pregnant for me and also give her al she needs she left me and told me she can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get her back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com .... YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS TO CONTACT HIM as you won't believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost WIFE back, and after a month she became pregnant for me because he gave me some herbs to take also and when she went for a test and the result stated that she was pregnant am happy today am a FATHER of a baby girl, thank you once again the great DR OSCAR DILAN for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

    (1) If you want your ex back.
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    (5) If you want a child/PREGNANCY SPELL.
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    yours forever.
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    (10)Stop Divorce
    (11) CURE TO ALL KIND OF SICKNESS/DISEASES HERE
    (12) Winning of lottery
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    Email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com .... YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS TO CONTACT HIM ...... YOU CAN ALSO CALL / ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136

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